


fragments of a happy life

by new-kontent (kontent)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Polyamory, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, canon? i don't know her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21685297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kontent/pseuds/new-kontent
Summary: It’s a quiet morning, the sun streaming in, painting Morgan’s hair golden. She gestures, her tiny hands moving through the air. Steve’s heart feels light in his chest, full of love.It took so long to get here, but now he’s here. Things are good.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this to have more chapters, but I haven't written more than the first two. Let's see if I can come up with more before the year ends.

Steve wakes up with something weighing on his chest. For a split second, he has flashbacks to before, to the asthma attacks and his barely functioning lungs – and then he blinks and looks at the bright smile his daughter throws him. She’s sitting on his chest, her small hands on his shoulders. Her pyjamas are blue, blue like her mother’s armour. That’s why she wanted them in the first place.

“Dad! You need to get up!”

Next to his ear, Tony groans softly into the pillow. “Morgan, baby, it’s not time to wake up yet.”

Morgan no longer takes  _ it’s four am _ as an explanation – they blame Bruce for explaining to her that time is relative and because she is probably the smartest kid in the world, she now always brings it up. They can’t really argue against that – and Tony can’t hide his pride either. Still, it’s too early and knowing Morgan, she won’t fall asleep anytime soon. Steve sighs.

When he looks up at Morgan, her grin is wide, the gap in her teeth showing. It’s the same smile Tony smiles when he has them wrapped around his finger and he knows it.

Steve’s heart lurches with affection. He gently unwraps himself from Pepper’s arms, even though she grumbles slightly. Pepper is, in comparison to Steve, a heavy sleeper – she can sleep through thunderstorms without problems. Tony usually completely passes out or is only half-asleep, his mind racing with all the possibilities. Steve is a healthy adult, thank you very much, and sleeps like – like a soldier with PTSD.

“Okay, okay, princess. Let’s get up.” Morgan whoops, bouncing on his chest. She’s still small enough to do that – and sometimes Steve just wants to keep her like this, so small and soft and perfect. (Not that she won’t be perfect when she grows up, but right now she is still small enough to fit against his chest and her small hands just cover half his face and he doesn’t want to lose that.)

Raising a finger to his lips, he shushes her. “But we need to be quiet, okay? Like ninjas. Because Mommy needs to sleep, she has a very important business meeting later.”

Morgan nods seriously, mouthing the word  _ ninja _ a few times. Steve slides out of bed, holding her tightly. He watches Tony drag himself across the bed to fit himself against Pepper, and the creases in her face smooth out a little. Steve looks at Morgan and grins. “Good job, princess. See? Mommy is still asleep.” Morgan looks proud of herself, her eyes bright and lovely.

Steve smiles, fitting his daughter ( _ their _ daughter) easily onto on arm. “Come on. We can go make breakfast for Mommy and Daddy, yeah?”

Tony gives a small, approving sound. Steve hides a laugh in their daughter's hair.

Carrying his daughter outside of their bedroom, he smiles down on her. “Why were you awake already, princess?”

Morgan starts babbling about an idea she came up with, and Steve listens carefully, walking them towards the kitchen. Getting into this relationship, he really didn’t understand a lot of things about science – it was a combination of  _ we didn’t know that back then _ and  _ I really didn’t have time to learn all this while fighting evil space monsters _ . And then suddenly – he had time. So he caught up, and yeah, he’s never going to be as brilliant as his husband or some of their friends or his own children – but he can keep up.

Morgan keeps talking about her idea – it’s robotics, and that’s something Steve gets. It’s practical – quantum fluctuation is wild and complicated and entirely out of Steve’s comfort zone, but thank god Morgan, for now, sticks to mechanics. There he can keep up. He asks her questions, prompting her to explain further, while he starts setting the table for six . 

It’s a quiet morning, the sun streaming in, painting Morgan’s hair golden. She gestures, her tiny hands moving through the air. Steve’s heart feels light in his chest, full of love.

It took so long to get here, but now he’s here. Things are good. 


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes he gets overwhelmed that he now has a family of six, that he’s a father to three beautiful children, that’s he’s a husband to two people who love him more than anything. Sometimes it’s just too much – these days he hides in his art room, between the tubes of paint and the empty canvases and the dozens of sketchbooks, filled with everything he loves.

They have a fight about it one day – Pepper and Tony think he hides from their family, that he feels unwelcome, that he hides in his room to avoid them. Steve doesn’t know how to explain what he feels, the emotions stuck in his throat. Frankly, he also feels hurt that they think he would do that. So he slaps the current sketchbook on the table, the words bitter in his mouth. “

The door slams behind him, and he regrets that already. But he feels torn up, all edges and nothing else. He goes back into hiding – until there is a soft knock on the door. He doesn’t tell them to come in, but he doesn’t refuse them by calling through the wood, so the door swings open. Pepper looks sad and Tony looks guilty and Steve honestly just feels tired, and out of place, like a fragment that doesn’t belong here. And isn’t it funny that they thought he felt like that and now he does? (It’s not.)

So he lets them in – he lets them into his room, into his sanctuary, lets Pepper place the book on the pile of all the others.

“We’re sorry-” Tony starts, but Steve doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want apologies, he doesn’t need them.

“No, I’m… sometimes it’s too much, you know?” He gestures all around the room, but he really means the world. The colours. The way everything seems faster than it was in his time, the way sometimes his brain just can’t properly work with having missed  _ seventy years of his life _ .

Pepper sits down in front of him, leaving a little bit of distance. It’s nice. It’s awful.

“No, actually. We don’t.” It doesn’t sound like an accusation. It sounds like – an invitation, maybe. To let him talk. To let him tell them.

Steve slowly reaches out and takes her hand. She wraps her fingers around his, her skin soft and warm against his. 

He takes a deep breath only to release it again. “Sometimes I just… sometimes  _ everything  _ is just too much.” 

Tony’s face twists into a grimace that tells Steve he understands. So he keeps talking, because he knows that explaining this now will help in the long run - and he is in this for the long run, he wants to keep this. 

“The world is loud and fast and dangerous, and I just… I see the twins grow up, and soon they are going to be adults and I just-” Steve can hear his own voice crack, can feel the trembling of his hands.

Pepper holds his hands tighter, bows down to press a kiss to the back of his hands.

The gesture of affection makes Steve’s throat close up and suddenly he’s blinking through tears. He’s just so afraid sometimes, terrified to lose them, that he forgets that has them.

He hears Tony step closer, the rustle of his clothes indicating he sits down next to Pepper.

Then he feels Tony’s hands - rough, warm, big - join their tangled fingers. 

“It’s scary.” He doesn’t say it as an accusation. It doesn’t feel like one. Steve still feels guilty.

He shakes his head. “I know it’s stupid. There’s nothing particular to be scared about, but sometimes I just… I feel  _ terrified _ . I want to wrap all of you up and bring you somewhere safe, but there is nowhere safe. And I just… in here, I feel okay. I can lock the world out.” He doesn’t say  _ ‘I can lock the fear out’ _ , but he thinks they hear it anyway. 

He never wanted to lock  _ them  _ out. Pepper sighs. “It’s okay. We just… we didn’t know you felt like that, Steve.” 

Steve nods softly. He looks at their hands, wrapped around each other, holding on. Even though they all have sharp edges that leave them bleeding. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

Tony looks like he wants to disagree, like he thinks Steve doesn’t need to apologize, but he does. He should have told them - he should have let them in because that is what people do when they are in a relationship. “No, I should have. I just… didn’t know how.”

He feels Pepper squeeze his hand, a silent comfort. Tony runs a hand down his arm, the gesture comforting and familiar. “Now, about the sketchbooks… are all of them like that?”

This is an easier topic, and Steve gladly accepts the out. He smiles shyly. “Most of them, yeah.”

Taking in the piles of sketchbooks, Pepper’s eyes grow a little. “All of these are filled with us?”

Steve shrugs, a little embarrassed. Tony looks a little lost, his eyes flickering between the books and Steve’s face. Then he leans forward and kisses Steve, a little desperately.

Sometimes Tony does that - when he lacks the words to express what he’s feeling, he tries to pour it into a kiss. Right now, he kisses Steve like he’s… breakable. Precious. Something delicate. 

It makes Steve want to cry a little because it feels too raw, too close to the desperate emotions he’s trying to bottle up. Instead, he kisses back, just as desperate.

When he pulls back, Pepper kisses him softly. Her lips are gentle against his, and there is comfort in that, too. They love him. They want to be with him.


End file.
